Thank you friends for being supportive during my days of sadness...I love you all!

Since the passing of my Dad I have been in a state of mild depression.  My son is still hospitalized and I don't know exactly when he will be discharged at this point.  Justin was admitted on Valentine's Day.  The idea of admitting my son into the hospital on Valentine's Day is ironic in the fact he is my heart and I love him unconditionally.

I love this picture of Justin.  We were at the Lake and he was having such a wonderful time.

My days are filled with a heavy darkness, a heavy feeling of anxiety and emotional stress, loneliness, sadness and confusion.  I know my Dad would want me to be happy and to have a smile on my face and a strut in my walk but for now I feel mentally drained.  Exhausted.

Recently I spent ten nights and eleven days in my hometown to gather a sense of inner peace and much needed rest and relaxation.  The time off did give me some happiness as I was with my Momma.  Exactly where I needed to be for the moment.  We shared a very happy yet emotional visit that was much needed for both of us.  I am my mother's only child.  We share a bond and a friendship that is very strong.  Now we will lean on each other and our relationship will only grow stronger.

Currently I am back home and facing reality on my own.  The reality that my father is no longer a live and my son is ill.  All I know to do is to turn over my heartaches to God.  To trust and to believe that my Lord and Savior is my solid foundation to all things good.  God will guide me in the right direction.

Selfishly I have turned my emotions into an abundance of shopping.  More shopping than usual.  Sure I can justify my behavior and state the facts:  1) Spring is around the corner and I needed a few new items to freshen up my wardrobe  2) I am going on a cruise in a few weeks and I needed some vacay things. 

The sad truth?  I don't need a darn thing but shopping is my therapy.  This blog is my therapy.  My SYC facebook page is my therapy.  Here I can type out my feelings whether good or bad.  Here I can release my energies of happiness or sadness.  Here I can be ME without any judgement.  In my heart I know that you are reading this and have a complete understanding of where I am in my life. 

Confused?  Yes!

Right now I am tormenting myself over a few new pretties.  I tell myself (yes, I talk to myself.  Don't you?) that if I buy just these shoes or this necklace or this top....my life will be complete and I will be happy.  Reality?  Money can not buy happiness at all.  Happiness is discovered when you live your true authentic life and discover your purpose.

At any rate I am going to share with you a few things I am currently lusting for and my rationale in why I need these things to come home to Momma.  Are you ready?  Okay, here we go!

Everybody wants to look good NAKED! Far from a group of boring beige shadows, Naked Palette's long, lean, seductive case is packed with TWELVE gorgeous neutrals, including FIVE NEW shades, and includes a pro-quality Good Karma Shadow Brush.  Perhaps if I purchase this seductive eye kit it will bring back the sparkle to my eyes.  After all the eyes are the windows to our souls.  Right now my eyes are lost and sadden.  My eyes need some help....I try really hard to remember the good memories of my life while my Dad was a live.  One day my sparkle will return...I am keeping the faith.

Vince Camuto Venize Sandals

My love for pretty shoes is never ending.  Vince Camuto is my go to brand.  I love these shoes.  The perfect combination of animal print, espadrille-covered platform and an adjustable ankle strap.   Not to mention the color of the season...Nude or Camel.  My heart skipped a beat at first sight.  Perhaps if I buy these shoes it will bring me my much needed feminine swagger.  The right pair of shoes is guaranteed to bring much joy into a GAW's world.

I am a blessed woman even with my current hardships.  My Dad is in heaven where there is no pain or suffering.  He is having the biggest celebration and party of his life...eternal life.  My son is such a good young man.  Full of compassion, love, humor (he gets that from me you know) and he is intelligent with good looks to boot.  We will persevere...Life is Good...Let Go and Let God!

Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk,
Tonya Denise