A Little Soul Searching brings a Little Flame into my Life

Hello Ladies....

These past few days I have reached out of my comfort zone in more ways than one can imagine.  A little bit of soul searching is in order.  I can sense the seasons changing in my life.  Change can be good for a person's spirit and personal growth.  In order to find your purpose in life you must be willing to try new things, discover new possibilities and allow opportunity in your life when it comes knocking on your door.  There is no need to fear...Let Go and Let God!

Yesterday my best friend Shannon sent me a Gorgeous Spring Bouquet which lifted my spirit and a smile appeared across my face.  I have so many wonderful friends and family members on my side of life.  Thank you God for my many blessings in each one of these individuals.  God brings people into our lives for a reason. 

The Gorgeous Spring Bouquet sent by my BFF

My Best Friend: Shannon Rose

Today I stopped by Talbots and I have to admit that Spring has Sprung.  So many pretties waiting patiently for a new home.  For a fabulous woman to take such garment, shoe or accessory out for a leisure strut.  Ladies; we are all fabulous women!

While my heart is doing some searching, I allowed myself a treat.  Today I got flamed by the color of passion.  RED HOT ORANGE....This color is sure to make one's heart skip a beat along a Spring day filled with lots of sun, laughter, fellowship and love. 

My beloved mother gave me a $20 Rewards Certificate from Talbots.  Such a sweet gesture and much needed reward too.  Thank you Momma, I love you!

Without further adieu....here is my new Red Hot Lover....FLAME!

The flamed silk paisley poncho will be perfect for my cruise.  The color is exactly what I needed today.  I felt as if this color was symbolic to my mood of much needed soul searching.

Would you believe the other day I picked up the cutest pair of sandals with the same color embellished stones?  Bizarre?  No, it is a reflection of my spirit. 

Ladies; I really do appreciate you all for being a part of my life.  Whether we know each other personally or only via cyberspace...I hold you all close to my heart.

Stay tuned:  Today I will upload a chair style layout of my new Flame....

Keep a Smile On Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk
Tonya Denise

Thank you friends for being supportive during my days of sadness...I love you all!

Since the passing of my Dad I have been in a state of mild depression.  My son is still hospitalized and I don't know exactly when he will be discharged at this point.  Justin was admitted on Valentine's Day.  The idea of admitting my son into the hospital on Valentine's Day is ironic in the fact he is my heart and I love him unconditionally.

I love this picture of Justin.  We were at the Lake and he was having such a wonderful time.

My days are filled with a heavy darkness, a heavy feeling of anxiety and emotional stress, loneliness, sadness and confusion.  I know my Dad would want me to be happy and to have a smile on my face and a strut in my walk but for now I feel mentally drained.  Exhausted.

Recently I spent ten nights and eleven days in my hometown to gather a sense of inner peace and much needed rest and relaxation.  The time off did give me some happiness as I was with my Momma.  Exactly where I needed to be for the moment.  We shared a very happy yet emotional visit that was much needed for both of us.  I am my mother's only child.  We share a bond and a friendship that is very strong.  Now we will lean on each other and our relationship will only grow stronger.

Currently I am back home and facing reality on my own.  The reality that my father is no longer a live and my son is ill.  All I know to do is to turn over my heartaches to God.  To trust and to believe that my Lord and Savior is my solid foundation to all things good.  God will guide me in the right direction.

Selfishly I have turned my emotions into an abundance of shopping.  More shopping than usual.  Sure I can justify my behavior and state the facts:  1) Spring is around the corner and I needed a few new items to freshen up my wardrobe  2) I am going on a cruise in a few weeks and I needed some vacay things. 

The sad truth?  I don't need a darn thing but shopping is my therapy.  This blog is my therapy.  My SYC facebook page is my therapy.  Here I can type out my feelings whether good or bad.  Here I can release my energies of happiness or sadness.  Here I can be ME without any judgement.  In my heart I know that you are reading this and have a complete understanding of where I am in my life. 

Confused?  Yes!

Right now I am tormenting myself over a few new pretties.  I tell myself (yes, I talk to myself.  Don't you?) that if I buy just these shoes or this necklace or this top....my life will be complete and I will be happy.  Reality?  Money can not buy happiness at all.  Happiness is discovered when you live your true authentic life and discover your purpose.

At any rate I am going to share with you a few things I am currently lusting for and my rationale in why I need these things to come home to Momma.  Are you ready?  Okay, here we go!

Everybody wants to look good NAKED! Far from a group of boring beige shadows, Naked Palette's long, lean, seductive case is packed with TWELVE gorgeous neutrals, including FIVE NEW shades, and includes a pro-quality Good Karma Shadow Brush.  Perhaps if I purchase this seductive eye kit it will bring back the sparkle to my eyes.  After all the eyes are the windows to our souls.  Right now my eyes are lost and sadden.  My eyes need some help....I try really hard to remember the good memories of my life while my Dad was a live.  One day my sparkle will return...I am keeping the faith.

Vince Camuto Venize Sandals

My love for pretty shoes is never ending.  Vince Camuto is my go to brand.  I love these shoes.  The perfect combination of animal print, espadrille-covered platform and an adjustable ankle strap.   Not to mention the color of the season...Nude or Camel.  My heart skipped a beat at first sight.  Perhaps if I buy these shoes it will bring me my much needed feminine swagger.  The right pair of shoes is guaranteed to bring much joy into a GAW's world.

I am a blessed woman even with my current hardships.  My Dad is in heaven where there is no pain or suffering.  He is having the biggest celebration and party of his life...eternal life.  My son is such a good young man.  Full of compassion, love, humor (he gets that from me you know) and he is intelligent with good looks to boot.  We will persevere...Life is Good...Let Go and Let God!

Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk,
Tonya Denise

Rested, Relaxed and Refreshed

Hello Lovelies!

Awwww....I feel rested, relaxed and refreshed and it is only Tuesday.  The last few days have been blissful.  Stress free.  Self absorbed.  Indulgent.  I arrived in Little Rock last Thursday and my Momma was waiting on me with open arms.  Home Sweet Home.  Thursday evening we had dinner with my cousins and retreated to bed early.  Yes, I slept with my Momma.  We stayed up for awhile talking about life and reminiscing about sweet memories.

Friday morning we slept in a little late then headed out to pick up my sister Traci.  Traci flew in from Denver for a long weekend.  After we had Traci in our caravan of love we decided to go have mani's and a little power shopping was in our fashionable future. 



My Mani...Shellac



That evening we relaxed and had dinner.  We decided to watch the Twilight Series of movies to see what all the hype was about.  Movie marathon time!  I must say that Edward was pretty easy on the eye.

Saturday morning came around and the three of us decided to have a girls day with Kristine.  Kristine is married to our cousin Bob.  We literally shopped until we dropped.  Had a blast.  Stopped for a wonderful lunch and then we continued on our mission.  The mission was to help Kristine find six new outfits complete with accessories and shoes.  Three dressy outfits and three casual outfits.

After our day of shopping we came home and put on a mini fashion show for Bob's approval.  He gave two thumbs up to all of Kristine's outfits.  In all honesty we purchased enough items to mix and match and create at least 25 outfits.  Before our shopping trip we did an evaluation of her closet to see what her wardrobe was needing!  Here is a quick rundown of the items we purchased on Saturday:

1. A coral trench coat
2. Coral and Ivory Cardi
3. Ivory pair of pants
4. Ivory cami
5. Gray tweed military jacket
6. Black boucle military jacket
7. Black velvet jacket
8. White dressy blouse
9. Animal Print Skirt
10. Black Pencil Skirt
11. Black skinny denim pants
12. Red Tee
13. Hot Pink Tee
14. Fun going out on the town top
15. Khaki casual jacket
16. Trendy Tee
17. Sequin Tank
18. Black Tall Boots
19. Black Dress Shoes
20. Uggs

Saturday I was in my element....helping a beautiful woman.  Laughing, shopping, picking out, trying on...LOVED every minute of the day.  This is where I get my enjoyment.  Helping and inspiring other women look their best.

Sunday morning we went to Church and then to lunch.  Have you ever noticed that a sermon preached seems to be designed specifically for you in mind?  God has away of working in our lives.  The sermon Sunday morning is part of a series on Marriage referred to as "Til Death Do Us Part".  Brother Paul started on the role of a wife.  It was incredible for me. Attached is a link to the sermon.  If you feel so compelled please take a few minutes to listen to his message.  http://eastunionbaptist.org/media


After lunch we visited the afternoon away.  Sunday night we relaxed, talked, cried, laughed and bonded.  There is never enough time when you are visiting your loved ones.

Monday came around way too soon.  The afternoon was sadden by the departure of my sister.  Now here I am on Tuesday.  This morning I took my Momma's cat to the vet.  Pocket has been protecting his left paw and we were worried it may of been injured.  The vet told us Pocket has arthritis.  He gave us arthritis medicine and needless to say Pocket is not too fond of the flavor. 

Last night we made Cowboy Corn bread and White beans with Ham soup.  I baked a cake and dang I must say "Bon appetite"...Southern Cooking at it's best.  Several of you asked me about Chow Chow.   Girlfriends if you have never had Chow Chow you are missing out.  It pairs with all things southern.  Beans, fried tators, homemade soups, Fried Catfish (notice I capitalized Fried Catfish because in my neck of the woods Fried Catfish is considered a proper noun), and heck, I have known folks to eat it with the eggs sunny side up!  So what is Chow Chow?  The short answer is “good”.   Chow-Chow (or Chow-Chow Relish) is made from chopped green tomatoes (and sometimes red tomatoes), cabbage, mustard seed or powder, onions, hot peppers, sweet peppers, and vinegar.

Southern "GOURMET"  Cowboy Cornbread with White Beans and Ham, Sam I am!

No Southern Meal is Complete without a Dessert....part of the main food groups

My days in Little Rock have been totally blissful and I am so thankful for the time away from work.  We can always make more money but you can not make enough time to spend with your family and friends.  Justin is still in the hospital and I have called him each day (numerous times) to check on his progress.  It breaks my heart when he is not doing well.  Please say a special prayer for my son and a speedy recovery.  Even though he is in the hospital I knew I must take time away from the daily grind and renew my spirit.  In order for me to be a caregiver I must take care of myself too.  There have been many prayers from this Momma.  Moms in prayer, stick together!

The rest of my visit her in Little Rock is filled with lots of fun.  Stay tuned as I roll around in my hometown...Little Rock!

Much need Sabbatical

Fashionistas......I am taking a Mental Health Break from my life.  Serious!  For the first time in all my life I am going to allow myself ten nights and eleven days of absolute selfishness and no stress. 

Since the passing of my beloved Father I have realized that I have carried a tremendous amount of stress on my shoulders for many years.  Starting at the young age of 21 I became a mother.  The stress has compounded into many layers due to various contributing factors.  Life in general brings on stress.  Hectic careers, busy schedules, raising children and sometimes it takes a tragic event in your life to realize you must be true to your authentic self.

My happiness is very important.  Without my happiness and inner peace I can not be the best wife, mother, daughter, friend, colleague or person.  For the next ten nights and eleven days I have decided to do exactly what I want to do. 

This evening I am in Little Rock my hometown.  The first thing I did was have dinner with my cousins and after dinner I enjoyed a slice of chocolate triple decadent pie.  This pie was very dense but yet smooth at the same time.  Thick and rich.  Layered with whipped topping.  I enjoyed every bite too. 

After dinner I went to Books A Million looking for a great new style book.  Nothing jumped out at me. So I left empty handed. Then I headed over to the local Mall, Park Plaza.  I hit the jackpot at Dillard's in their shoe salon. 


The shoe fairy was on my shoulder and I scored three pairs of new pretties.  Two are animals and one is a fabulous black suede pump.  Tomorrow I will take pictures and post them on Shop Your Closet. 

While in Little Rock I have plans to meet up with several friends for lunch, dinner, coffee and drinks.  Depending on the mood of each day will determine exactly where and what I do.  Little Rock offers a few of my favorite dining establishments and I  plan to visit each one while in town.

Trios at Pavilion in the Park on Cantrell.  I love Trios for lunch.  Their spinach dip and pita chips are incredible.   http://www.triosrestaurant.com/about_us 

Next on my dining agenda will be Dizzy's Gypsy Bistro located in the heart of downtown Little Rock next to the historic River Market District and the Presidential Clinton Museum.  Dizzy's is a caravan of wickedly good food and guilty pleasures.  http://dizzysgypsybistro.net/

Another hot spot in Little Rock is Loca Luna which is one of Arkansas' most celebrated restaurants.  No home visit shall pass without my hearts content with a night at Loca Luna.  http://www.localuna.com/

Finally I plan on dining at Ya Ya's Euro Bistro and walking around the Chenal Promenade one afternoon.  http://www.yayasar.com/dinner_menu.php 

These are just a few of the best dining establishments in my hometown.  The list for great meals are endless.  If you are ever in my neck of the woods give me a ring a ding ding and I will give you recommendations based on your culinary palette.

There are so many things I plan on doing this week.  Lots of R & R, good food, shopping, visiting with friends, a day at Oaklawn for Horse Racing, going to see the movie the "Vow"....oh, and did I say shopping?

Oaklawn Racing in Hot Springs, Arkansas since 1904

Speaking of shopping I have already made out like a bandit.  Not only did I score three pairs of shoes I purchased a beautiful necklace and bracelet from Banana Republic.

These two pieces will be great accessories to use as building blocks for a Color Block ensemble.  Yes, this week one Southern GAW (Grown Arse Woman) is taking a much needed sabbatical. 

Awwwwww.....tomorrow I get to sleep in late.  Speaking of sleep, Momma just came to bed and said "It's time for us to go night night."  I am a 43 year old woman sleeping aside her Momma in a king size bed.  Stay tuned for more of my ten nights and eleven days of rolling around in the Rock, Little Rock!

Hello Fashionistas and Welcome to my new and improved blog.  Thanks to Kelly's Avenue Blog Designs, I now have a brand new look and I am loving it. 

Last night I contacted Kelly and told her what I was trying to achieve.  She took my ideas and designed "40 and Madly Fabulous in Heels" to reflect my personality.  A little over the top, a little bling to showcase my diva characteristics, a touch of animal print to bring out my inner wild side and finally a pair of Christian Louboutin black stilettos with encrusted jewels to remind me to Keep a Smile on My Face and a Strut in my walk. 

Kelly was able to capture the essence of my personality with her magic blogger wand.

Hopefully my blog will continue to grow with many followers that share the same love of style in our wardrobes, homes and everything that reflects the true beauty of a woman.  Thank you ladies for being a part of my blog and Shop Your Closet Facebook page.  Stay tuned.....there is so much up my fashionable sleeve.  Much Love!

Things I am Loving....

Paillette Tank in Black from Talbots

I am in love with this pretty blouse and think it will be stunning with a pair of white pants and black strappy sandals for dinner on my Cruise.  Yes, this top is calling my name.....

Talbots Jackie Fit Tweed Notch-Collar Jacket

A Reminiscent of the boyfriend blazer is a must have for my Spring Wardrobe.  Pair this with a black pencil skirt, a simple silk black blouse and layer on pearls. Add a sexy black high heel shoe or if you dare a pair of seductive red pumps.   Pretty and fresh...daring and bold.  This jacket will find it's way to my closet soon.

                                                   Talbots Kate Fit Leopard Print Jacket
My love for animal prints is greater than my love for chocolate.  When I wear an animal print I feel sexy, classic, refined and polished.  Animal prints have the power to bring out my inner wild side....I DIE for a great animal print.  This little number will be my go to piece this Spring/Summer.  Imagine wearing this with a pop of color such as Hot Pink.  Team this with a black pencil skirt.  If I dare I may wear it with the matching skirt (which is already in my wardrobe) for an over the top show stopping look that is sure to turn many heads of admirers.  Yes, Animal prints will be a part of my life as the days turn into years.  Worn tastefully and with my classic approach.

Fashionistas these are the three things that I am bringing home to my wardrobe. Each item will be worn with my unique stylish flair as I incorporate so many different ensembles.  My rule of thumb is the 80/20 rule.  My budget is not disclosed but these are the three items I plan on incorporating into my stylish life.  I am in love.  The red doors have yet to disappoint me....

Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk,
Tonya Denise

It's My Party, and I'll cry if I want to.....

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

It's my birthday...a day that has always been filled with love, laughter and celebration.  Today I turn 43 years of age.  As I sit here at my parents home drinking my morning coffee I reflect over the last 43 years of my life.

As a little girl my parents would always bake me a "homemade" birthday cake.  Momma makes an incredible "Scratch" Chocolate cake that is sinfully too die for good!  After the cake was baked and cooled down my Dad would begin his masterpiece.  He would ice and decorate my birthday cake to perfection. 

Over the years he designed a clown cake, an Elvis cake, a Valentines heart shaped cake, cake with roses, a rainbow...so many handmade decorated cakes.  His hands symbolized love in whatever he would do for me.  I will always cherish the memories of my birthday cakes that my Dad made me.  Those are the precious memories that will never fade.


Much Love,
Tonya Denise

Things I am Loving....

Now that I have enlightened you with my 80/20 rule it is time for me to share with you some of my most sought after Spring Accessories I am loving at the moment.

Every woman realizes the importance of accessories.  The perfect high heeled pump is guaranteed to turn a grown man's head.  I love high heels and hardly ever wear flats.  This was the first Fall/Winter season that I actually purchased a pair of flat boots.  The flat boots are comfy but there is just something about a high heel that empowers my femininity. 

Ladies, I think I have a problem.  A severe problem.  I love shoes....feminine shoes.  A shoe with a heel.  Add freshly manicured toes and I feel like a Sex Goddess regardless of how big my boojay may be at the given moment.  One thing about my love affair with shoes, I fall in love easily and my shoes are well taken care of.....once in love my heart does not stray.




Vicki Vachetta Leather Peep-Toe Pump

I am really loving this peeptoe pump.   It has a rare combination of masculinity and femininity.  Love the Neutral color which will go with any color in your wardrobe.  The tassels and the back zipper add just enough attention to detail to give it a dose of style. 
I am afraid these babies may be coming home with Momma in the near future.

.

Now it is time for some Bling Bling....There is something about Bling that brings a sparkle to my eye!

The Kate Spade Cobblestone Bib Statement Necklace....I DIE...Enough Said.  From the first time I laid eyes on this pretty I was in love.  A grand bauble that would be perfect with a little black sheath or a simple black tee, denim and heels for a night out with Mr. Someone Handsome.  SIGH....

The Flower Brooch Cuff from Banana Republic.  There is just something about Turquoise that screams Spring and Summer.  This cuff would make a lovely addition to my armoire and add instant flair to my Spring and Summer frocks.  Very inexpensive but with lots of WOW....every GAW deserves a little bit of WOW factor in her life!

These are just a few things I am loving at the moment....tomorrow is a new day and I am sure there will be something that will make my heart skip a beat and I DIE FOR!

Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk,
Tonya Denise

80/20 Rule = Great Accessories and a Well Dressed Woman

Accessories are the quickest way to update your look.  Many moons ago I read the 80/20 rule when it comes to updating your wardrobe and appearance each season.  Eighty percent of your clothing budget should be spent towards accessories while the remaining twenty percent should be used to purchase classic garments that will never go out of style.

Let's do a quick elementary math towards a shopping budget for Spring/Summer.  Pretend (every woman knows how to pretend) that you have allocated $500 for your Spring/Summer shopping spree.  Apply the 80/20 rule and your budget should be itemized as follows:

•  $400 for Accessories and $100 for Clothing

 

Are you shocked?  Okay, Okay...there is one exception to this rule. 

Pretend as if you already have your core classic wardrobe in place.  Therefore the 80/20 rule really does sound realistic.  Right?

Pretend Core Wardrobe (Looks Good, Huh?)

Accessories are made up of shoes, purses, jewelry, scarves, hats, sunglasses, hosiery...these are the areas where you may incorporate trends into your fashionable life.  If you invest in classic timeless clothing and spend most of your money on accessories, you will always look CURRENT and never forget your signature style.

Spend eighty percent of  your budget on accessories to keep your look CURRENT

Invest in Classic Timeless Pieces and You will Never be out of Style

The $100 of your $500 budget may be spent on a great new jacket to create many outfits with your current core wardrobe.  Or you may want two new skirts.  A pair of great new pants and blouse.  Perhaps you need a wonderful trench?   This is when you really need to shop your closet and see what is missing from your wardrobe.  The remaining $400 may be used towards trendy shoes, jewelry and a summer handbag. 

Maybe Mr. Someone Handsome will give you a few more dollars to add to your clothing portion of your budget! 

Every Woman Deserves a Mr. Someone Handsome

Disclaimer:  This budget is not designed for the weak....when your knees buckle and you almost fall to the ground over this season's Hot new designer; well you may have to rob Peter to pay Paul.  I feel confident in our abilities to help out today's economy.  But work with me ladies...I do offer valid tips.

 I love costume jewelry.  Especially Brighton.  The offerings of Brighton are truly beautiful and never disappoints.    My love affair for costume jewelry does not discriminate.  Talbots, Banana Republic, Chicos, Ann Taylor, Dillards and private boutiques offers an abundance of great baubles and beads to add to your collection.

Brighton Boutique is the Grown Arse Woman's Candy Store

Shoes, Shoes and More Shoes.  Nothing changes an outfit faster than a fabulous new pair of shoes.  Take last years' dress with this years' new shoes and you are magically transformed into a sensational woman.

In the next few days I plan on perusing many fashion magazines, catalogs, online shopping sites and style blogs to determine my Spring and Summer wishes and desires.  Please stay tuned as I showcase my most wanted to infuse a fresh new look into my existing wardrobe.

Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk,
Tonya Denise

It's a Wrap

My love affair with trench coats began with the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's"  and I hate to admit how many I own.  Too many.  A dear High School friend sent me an email last week asking about trench coats.  Her question about trench coats inspired me for today's blog entry.

Every woman needs a trench coat in their wardrobe for instant style. 

A trench coat will give you that extra layer of WOW and will

always remain a classic in your wardrobe for years to come. 

Tim Gunn has an essential list of ten items that every woman should own.

A trench coat is among the list. 

Here are some of my favorites that I am loving at the moment.

Madison Trench From Talbots Available in Grenadine, Urban Khaki and Black
All the classic trench details you love . . . it doesn't get more iconic than this trench!

I love love love this whimsical trench from Ann Taylor Loft.  So stinking cute!  What a fun way to add a pop of color with the classic design of a trench.  Have fun with your choice of a trench.
Don't worry about being safe.  Experiment with color and pattern. 
Wear this trench and get ready for attention.

An alluring leopard print updates a classic trench styled with button-down epaulets and an inverted pleat below the back waist.  London Fog Trench from Nordstroms and on Sale....Whooooooo Hoooooooo

You can't go wrong with RED!



Throw a trench over a sheath dress for instant style.  I am wearing a black and white graphic trench by Nine West paired with the ponte knit sheath from Talbots.

By the way; my High School friend emailed me again and she found not one but two wonderful trench coats.  One in the traditional khaki color and a beautiful Kelly Green.



Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk
Tonya Denise

Wall of Crosses in Honor of my Dad

Happy Sunday to each of you....


I just wanted to post a quick entry and share with each of you my wall of crosses in honor of my Dad.   This morning after coffee, me and Momma built my wall of crosses.  I think my Dad would love it.  He loved whatever me and Momma did no matter what it entailed.

This is the wall that comes off the Laundry Room

We purchased these crosses yesterday at Hobby Lobby and each one was 50% off

The color of my walls are a soft gold but the photo does not do the coloring any justice

Each Christmas my parents would always buy me a piece of jewelry.  This is the last piece my Dad helped pick out.  It is a cocktail ring of black diamonds.

My Momma's hand with my hand

Today has been sort of an emotional day for the two of us.  We have decided to get Firehouse Subs and watch the Superbowl.  I am looking forward to the commercials and the Madonna halftime show.  After all, I am just a materialistic girl from the 80's

Madonna:  The original Material Girl

Keep a Smile on Your Face and a Strut in Your Walk

Much Love, Tonya Denise